Management tips

gaurav1987

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Management tips

*Lesson Number One*

****

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I
also sit like you and do nothing all daylong?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

*Management Lesson:*

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

*****************************

*Lesson Number Two*

**

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?"

replied the bull.

"They're packed with Nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree.

The next day, after

eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally, after a

fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

*Management Lesson:* Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.

***************************************

*Lesson Number Three*

**

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss
because I control the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we
carry the brain about and get him to where he wants
to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on

with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally
the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
being the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became
crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the
heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

*Management Lesson*: You

don't need brains to be

a Boss? Any asshole will do.

**********************************

*Lesson Number Four*

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground
in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen
bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually

thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard
the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him!

*Management Lesson:

*1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your
enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth
shut!

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
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