Funny Jokes Collection

[djrub]

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Banta: Kee Gal hai Sante. Akelle kelle samosey kha reyan
Santa : Nahin yaarr, Chutney De Naal.
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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
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[djrub]

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On 1st April sardar was travelling in a bus. Conductor
asked for the ticket, he gave him Rs. 10 and took the ticket
in his pocket and said,”April Fool”. I have pass.
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Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
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[djrub]

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The Full Form of Chocolate Brand :

KITKAT - Kiss in Time, Kiss at Time
PERK - Perfect Emotional Romantic Kiss
MUNCH - Meet Urgently Now for a Charming Hug! So think before giving chocolate to any one.
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[djrub]

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Boy - I love you
Girl - But I don’t
Boy - Think again.
Girl - No I don’t
Boy - Waiter Bill alag alag lana
Girl - I love u, I love u, Keh to rahi hu, tum bhi bura maan jate ho! ****************************************

Ek 99 year ka aadmi Swarg ki raunak aur sunder apsarao ko dekhke bola : “Ye Baba Ramdev ke chakkar me na pada hota to yaha 30 saal pehle aa gaya hota”.
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[djrub]

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Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!
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Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!
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Daughter : Mummy khana kaise banaya jata hai.
Mummy : Pinky, meine kitni baar tumse kaha hai ki apne papa ke kaam
ki baat mujhse mat pucha karo!!
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[djrub]

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Baniya : Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : To kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : Mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!
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Boss ki wife achana office pahuch gayi. Usne secretary ko boss ke god
me baithe dekh liya. Boss bina ghabraye bola, “Kaan kholkar sun lo. Budget ki
chahe kitni hi kami ho, mein ek chair se kaam nahi chala sakta.
Dusri chair kharidne ka order aaj hi de do”.
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[djrub]

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Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko
apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!!!
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Ek rangile ne apne girlfriend ke kuch jyada hi kareeb aane ki koshish ki.
GF : yaar, shaadi se pehle ye sab nahi.
Rangila : Don’t worry, mein pehle se hi shaadi-shuda hu!!!
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Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye - Budhiya bomb hai, Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri, wo to mein jawani me thi!!!
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[djrub]

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Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge
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Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!
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[djrub]

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Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!
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Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala - I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!
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[djrub]

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Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
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Angry Santa to Son : Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Son : (Neeche dekhte hue) No Papa…
Santa : Neeche mat dekho. Look at me.
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