Football vs MAths

saurabh1702

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Football versus maths

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed maths, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a maths question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and give me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"



Two rival cricketers were talking.
'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'
'Well, you're just the right man for the job.'
 

saurabh1702

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
10 things in golf that sound really, err, dirty...

10 things in golf that sound really, err, dirty...

So golf is supposedly a gentleman’s game, eh? Here we show you why the gentlemen really prefer golf!
The 10 things in golf that sound really, err, dirty... Enjoy!

1. Look at the size of his putter.

2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.

3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.

4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.

7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

8. Just turn your back and drop it.

9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.

10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
 

saurabh1702

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
England Coach

England coach

Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Why are English batsmen looking forward to the new millennium?
A. So they can at least say they passed a century.

The two clubmen were talking. "So you had a hard time explaining the cricket game to your wife, eh?" ''I certainly did. She found out I wasn't there."

In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd. At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic. "What are you doing?" asked the spectator. "Well," said the umpire,"it seems you get the best view from here."
 

saurabh1702

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
WOnderful compliments !

Dad to Son: When I beat u how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your tooth brush.

A Noble Award winner dedicated his novel to his wife and wrote-
"This book is dedicated to my wife because in her absence I could complete it.”

Think positive... look at the world as a huge chocolate cake.
It would not be complete without a few sweets & nuts, sweets like me & nuts like you!
 
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