Nice Jokes

[charmingamit007]

Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report



TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????

STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..




kabhi wafa se pyaar mt krna
Q mt karna ? maare jaoge
Q maare jaoge ?
Qki wafa OSAMA ki .bati ka naam hai....

Wife saw sign board
Banarasi sari 10/-
Nylon sari 8/-
Coton sari 5/-
Wife:Give me Rs.500 I'll buy
Hsbnd:Andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai.

Kitne % bhartiyon ko lgta hy k Salman Khan
Katrina Kaif se Shadi Krega?
Ans:10%
bcoz
Rest of the 90% wnts to marry Katrina Kaif themself

vo kaun sa dept h jahan aurte kam nahi kar sakti?

santa fire bregade.

banta vo kyon??

santa kyonki aurto ka kam to aag lagana hota hai.

aag bhughana nahi



Girlfrnd:
chand kitny hoty hain?

Boyfrnd:
2,
1 Tum
or
1 wo oper

After Meriage

Wife:
Chand kitne hoty hain?

Husband:
Anni diye,
Nazr nai anda
1 E honda aa..


More will continue

[SUVARNA MOHITE]

Ekada don mitra,1 Hindu ani dusra Musalmaan, rastyane barobar challe astaat. Tevdhyat, tyanna rastyat vis(20) rupayaachi note disate. Musalmaan mitra ekdaam excite houn mhanto,

"Bis Milaah!!" Tyavar Hindu mitra chidun manto, "dus tulla, dus malla!!!!!"

[SUVARNA MOHITE]

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

[chirag_leo13]

Awesome letter written by a girl to her dad...it surely works guys..just read on

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving
home.

I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he
is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with
all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he
wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even
though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is
it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of
our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other
girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He
wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams
too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll
be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't
worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.



|------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still |
| trembling, |
| her father turned the sheet, and read: |
|------------------------------------------------------------------------|



PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!

[ashirbad579]

Ones who mind dont matter
and ones who matter dont mind!

[s_karts3]

Amazing Anagrams

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It


The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

[genie786]

"Some time ago, an English Lady was looking for rooms in a little village called Lortz in Germany. The local schoolmaster took her to see several delightful homes, and she eventually decided on one. On her way home however, it occurred to her that she had not noticed a W.C. She immediately wrote and asked if there was one near the house.

The schoolmaster on receiving the letter, was much troubled, for his English, being limited, he did not understand the abbreviation W.C. Finally, he asked the Parish Priest to help him, and together they tried to think what the Lady must mean by W.C. At last they came to the conclusion that the Lady meant Wesleyan Church. So the schoolmaster replied -

"Your Ladyship,

I have much pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is situated about nine miles from the house in the centre of a grove of beautiful scenery. It is capable of holding 250 people. It opens on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday of each week and as there are so many visitors in the summer months, I would advise you to go early, although there is plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate position for you if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be glad to know that quite a number take their lunch and make a day of it, while others who cannot spare the time, travel by car and arrive just in time. I should especially recommend your Ladyship to pay a visit on Tuesday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds are audible.

It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in our W.C. and it was there that she first met her husband. I remember the barrage quite well on the account of the rush for seats. There were ten on the seat I usually occupy and it was wonderful to watch the expressions on their faces. My father has been a regular since the day he was christened in its waters.

A wealthy resident of the district erected a bell which rings every time a member enters. A bazaar is to be held soon and the proceeds will go towards helping to furnish plush seats as every member feels that it is a long felt want. My wife is rather delicate so she cannot attend regularly, and it pains her very much not to be able to go more often. I will be delighted to reserve the very best seat for you if you advise beforehand, so you will be quite comfortable while you are there.

Yours Faithfully,
Lortz Schoolmaster.

[rahul.capricorn9]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

[mp.com]

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”

The husband laughs and says: “An Italian girl !!!” The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Very good, thank you.” “And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?” She asked.

“The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!”

“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!”

[rock26_pdm]

A FUNNY QUOTE-
CM LK A HORSE,
SIT LK A THIEF
AND GO LK A KING!!!


THIS SLOGAN WAS WRITTEN ON A.........



TOILET DOOR!!!!!!!!!