SaRdAr JoKeS

nick18_in

MP Guru
A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year ?
The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered......
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said : "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow answer, even though
it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get12 seconds in a year?"

The Singh replied : "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April
2nd...etc..."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
Santa : "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet : "And what makes you think that there are
hidden cameras there?"
Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am
doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying "You are watching the Star World Channel".
How does he know that?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

nick18_in

MP Guru
Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a Muslim, and the other a Singh. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.

The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.
Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned, too.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming.
He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island. ??


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Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his
University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall,stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator,alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,"
he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.
 

nick18_in

MP Guru
BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!





-=-=-=-=-=-


BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the
answer is 6!!

-=-=-=-=-=-


BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED.
Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!

-=-=-=-=-=-

BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

-=-=-=-=-=-

BEPPO SINGH STUCK ON THE ELEVATOR.
Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a
power failure. Beppo Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the
escalator for 3 hrs.

========================================

 

nick18_in

MP Guru
A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows
the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because
he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed
is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the
picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks his, "This is
your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too
easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of
course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of
his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the
third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how
would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a
stupid answer."

The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't
know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes
while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves
the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his
computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear
contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute
observation?"

"That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear."
 
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