Go Back   ManagementParadise.com Discussion Forums The Lounge !! > LaUghTeR AccEleRatED , Just CHILL !!

MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!

Discuss MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! within the LaUghTeR AccEleRatED , Just CHILL !! forums, part of the The Lounge !! category; heheh.....roshcrazy ur post rocked.... Advertisements...

Reply

 

Thread Tools Display Modes
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
skyline
skyline is an unknown quantity at this point
 
 
Institute: JH
Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Join Date: May 2007
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - July 12th, 2007

heheh.....roshcrazy ur post rocked....
Advertisements

Friends: (0)
Reply With Quote
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Talking Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - July 16th, 2007

Management Lesson...hihihihihhahahaha

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Management Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Talking Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - July 17th, 2007

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is.

She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a
child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get
back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.

Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State
Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."

MANAGEMENT LESSON
IT IS NOT TRUE TO SAY THAT A PERSON WHO SHARE GUD POST HAS A SAME QUALITY BRAIN TOO



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Talking Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - September 12th, 2007

hehehe................

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

LESSON : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - February 26th, 2008

CANNIBALS

Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a Oil Company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared, however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner.

After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaning lady?".

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Task Leaders and Project Managers so no one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaning lady!"



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Talking Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - February 27th, 2008

One of the best interviews!!!

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly
speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to our co.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Old
Ashutosh G
ashu1234 is on a distinguished road
 
ashu1234
Student of MBA at IIPM
New Delhi, Delhi
Management Paradise Newbie
 
Institute: IIPM
Status: Offline
Posts: 102
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Delhi, Delhi
February 27th, 2008

Hey that mgmt lessons are really cool......I liked it.

Still laughing out loud reading ur humourous posts.........

Last edited by roshcrazy; September 1st, 2008 at 08:48 PM..
   
Friends: (1)
Reply With Quote
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Puneett Raheja
puneetraheja is an unknown quantity at this point
 
puneetraheja
 
Institute: IMT Ghaziabad
Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Join Date: Aug 2008
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - August 28th, 2008

lol.. nice joke
Friends: (0)
Reply With Quote
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Shailza Jain
shailza is an unknown quantity at this point
 
shailza
Student of BBA at jd birla
Kolkata, West Bengal
 
Institute: jd birla
Status: Offline
Posts: 13
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Kolkata, West Bengal
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - September 1st, 2008

hey dat was a good one ya!!!!
keep it up...
really enjoyed it..keep postin gd stuff lik dese////////
Friends: (0)
Reply With Quote
Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
Old
Roshni Bhatia
roshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond reputeroshcrazy has a reputation beyond repute
 
roshcrazy
Student of PGDM at IES MANAGEMENT COLLEGE AND RESEARCH
Mumbai, Maharashtra
Management Paradise Guru
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra
Smile Re: MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!! - September 1st, 2008

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashu1234 View Post
Hey that mgmt lessons are really cool......I liked it.

Still laughing out loud reading ur humourous posts.........
Quote:
Originally Posted by puneetraheja View Post
lol.. nice joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by shailza View Post
hey dat was a good one ya!!!!
keep it up...
really enjoyed it..keep postin gd stuff lik dese////////
Thanks a ton for the appreciation...if u guys liked this; u might like this too:

CoRpoRAte lESSonS!!



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Your one stop solution to gain knowledge on Finance, Economy and Stock Markets
Friends: (35)
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
humour, mgmt, true
Related to MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!
 

Similar Threads

Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
some rhetorical questions (humour) Deepika T LaUghTeR AccEleRatED , Just CHILL !! 1 October 1st, 2008 07:26 PM
Humour From Great Minds vengabeats LaUghTeR AccEleRatED , Just CHILL !! 1 April 26th, 2006 12:54 PM
Humour(s) nick18_in LaUghTeR AccEleRatED , Just CHILL !! 0 February 25th, 2006 12:22 AM
 


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


ManagementParadise.com is not responsible for the views and opinion of the posters. The posters and only posters shall be liable for any copyright infringement.



Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.