Lie detector
Dave was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gadgets for sale.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day Dave came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that Dave claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
“Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?” asked
Dave.
“Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,” said Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
“Son,” said Dave, “this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.”
“We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.” said Tommy.
“What did you watch?” asked Marsha.
“The Ten Commandments.” answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, “I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Debbie does Dallas.”
“I am ashamed of you son,” said Dave. “When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, “Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!”
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
-------------------
A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes Entrance. The
husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes area, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a fishing
inspector in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What
are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies thinking "isn't that obvious!"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and make a report."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the cop.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.............
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think
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