APOLOGY TO THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA

[savio13]

APOLOGY TO THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA

It is with deep regret, hesitation, and contrition that I,
The President of the United States of America,
offer apology to the Chinese nation and its peoples.
I apologize for the heinous act performed by our large, sluggish,
propeller driven, airplane when it got in the way of your highly
maneuverable, supersonic, technologically superior, jet aircraft.
Furthermore, I sincerely regret the fact that by flying in international
airspace, we afforded your "highly competent" pilot the opportunity
to fly his aircraft into our own, causing him to spiral to his death into
the ocean. We regret the choice made by said pilot when he used deficient
judgment in electing to attempt aerial intimidation upon our slower
moving, unarmed, surveillance vehicle.
This situation brings to mind a similar episode when I was in grade
school and my face got in the way of the school yard bully's fist. He broke
a bone in his hand and I felt as compelled to apologize for that incident
as I do for this one.
Let me summarize by stating that it is our sincere hope that you accept
this "heart felt" and "sincere" apology for the actions committed by your
pilot. We are sorry that we got in the way. We are sorry that we were
forced to leave international airspace and land in Chinese territory. We are
sorry that you were forced to provide food and housing for our military
personnel.
Most of all, we are sorry that you have, in your possession, some of
our most technologically advanced surveillance equipment on the planet.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive us. I hope that soon
you will be compelled to release our men and our property. Because I really
don't want to have to apologize again when we have to kick your ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
President of the United States