Joint Family?? Nuclear Family??

vishal_1986

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
There has been a drastic change in the life styples of the Indian Livelihood. To a large extent, the western culture and been transformed towards the east.

There were days when people in india used to live like HUF, the culture, the religion were followed by the enitre familty in its righteous way.

But today, people are moving towards having nuclear family. They want to live alone, have so called "freedom " as defined by the people who live in nuclear family.

Y has this change taken place, what r the reasons to shift from joint to neclaer??

has the western power proved tht powerful on us. ( influence ).
was the joint family system a negative way of living ( forced, restricted ).

Well frnds.. its one topic whr i gues.. ppl hv way diff opinions.. but one must stick to what they express na defend n reason thier points.

hope to have a worthwhile discussion..
 

gaurav200x

Gaurav Mittal
Nice topic, vishal.... Considering the changes that have taken place we can see that the life style of the people have changed a lot.

Earlier all the brothers used to stay under the same roof with their families. They used to be contented and most of the times, all were working in the same family business.

Grand parents, uncles and aunties, etc also used to stay and hence, the children used to get a wholesome family environment.

However, with changing times, life style changed, nature of people changed and the increase in dispute amongst brothers caused the families to drift apart. Also, people in govt. jobs had transferrable jobs and hence, had to migrate all across the country.

Hence, people started to prefer nuclear families instead of joint familes.
 

deepakraam

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Hi,
In today's world where both the parents need to work to make their ends meet,itz tough to maintain the joint family.Though they live under the same roof they dunt have time to meet their partners in weekdays.

This is a change in trend and I dunt see any harm in such a trend.You can still meet all ur relatives during the weekends.

They are separated only by miles bt nt by minds.


-Deepak.
 

hemant.k008

New member
Hey Fatima! to some extent i do agree with u.u have made a good point. but in todays practical world, more of women wants a Nuclear family. they want a seperate house where just she, her husband,and her kids want to live. she dosent want to have nay ne else to share. Dont feel bad Fatima but on this we have conducted a surver in our college .and more of girls have suggested that they want nuclear family than boys. haa there may b the reasons that they get suppressed at her husband place.they face many problems, but all families are not like these. some r really good. that depends how well u knoe the family. if,well in advance u knw the family then its well and fine. and if not then leave the matter to ur parents. let them make the choice. and then if the situation goes wron than one should take the decision. but atlast every 1 wants to live in joint family unitedly.

expectations are the secondary things.
 

deveshiiitm04

New member
nuclear family today come into play as people have to keep moving more frequently then before for work ...there is nothing going wrong with the concept of joint family it is just that we ,the young people r running day and night after money and money ....
 

roshcrazy

MP Guru
this is interesting..a view of 3 generations on this topic...

Is nuclear family better or a joint family?


The joint family system has all but given way, especially in the metros, while smaller cities and towns may cling on to it. Practical reasons as well as the more 'compelling' ones like inability to adjust to generation gaps or other family members have downsized the ratio of the joint to the nuclear family.

We speak on the issue to three different age groups, a twenty-one year-old dental student, a forty-plus film composer, an eighty-plus retired bank officer and a practicing psychiatrist and counsellor.

Viju Shah, music director:
'I think that a nuclear family is best suited to today's lifestyles. Tolerance is the pivot of a joint family and that is sorely lacking in today's times. If you have two kids, I would say that the best option would be to make separate and clear-cut provisions for them in your lifetime. It is best to meet on Sundays for a family lunch or day full of affection that let undercurrents thrive in daily life. Many families I know stay together only out of compulsions or some other problems. Today money is the driving force. If one brother is earning more than the other, the problems can get serious. Live separately but with love intact than the reverse: and I say this though my family and I live with my mother and brother Rajesh and his family.'

Mr Ramlal Talwar, 83, retired bank officer:
'Today, I live alone with my wife. Both of us are quite active. We are not living alone by choice. My eldest son Sunil is working for over two decades in the Gulf. When he wanted to go there to make his life I did not object. I have two more sons - twins named Rajan and Deepak - and a married daughter. Rajan and Deepak were living with us after marriage but soon decided to start their own business in Gujarat. My son Sunil agreed to initially finance them and they too have settled there for more than ten years. Their families keep visiting us and we keep going there too. It's a good arrangement. Had they all been here we would have probably managed to live below one roof, but today we like and enjoy our independence and even get a little unsettled if one of their families comes down for long. We have our routines and enjoy life. So I do not think that this question can be answered easily. It is person- as well as family-specific. I have grown up in a joint set-up but have also lived as a nuclear family because my job took me to various places.'

Ankit Mashru, 21, dental student:
'I live with my parents, sister and grandparents, and am all for a joint family. That is because I do not think that I can ever be as good as my parents in inculcating basic family values in my kids, so I would leave it to them as my kids' grandparents to do that. Besides, I think that I owe it to my parents, for it is every father's dream that his son or sons live with him even after marriage. Yes, I admit that living across the landing in another flat would be an ideal solution, but I would otherwise rather live together than apart.'

Maya Kirpalani, Psychiatrist And Counsellor:
'The joint family system is breaking up because the value systems in the metros are changing. Ideally, living with one's aged parents not only teaches your own children the value of caring for parents but also that of grandparents, but lack of space in metros is a genuine problem.

But I am very clear about one thing - the aged have to be taken care of. If a joint family is maintained only for the sake of convenience, that is, grandparents looking after children when both parents are working, then the parents must respect what the elders are doing. At the same time, the children should not be allowed to forget that mom and dad are the real parents, especially if the grandparents are undesirably pampering the children.

Today we see a lot of deterioration in value systems. Competition and stress levels are surging and problems in a joint family can arise from basic things like division of duties when one daughter-in-law is working and the other is not, where the working one may be favoured or seem so in terms of work responsibility or the money she is contributing. This can lead to pathological extremes of selfishness or sacrifice. There should be a balance in every thing, apart from love and respect for family members.
source:http://www.shaaditimes.com/ch/love/triple_speak/040719-joint-family-vs-nuclear
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in a nutshell, these days trend of nuclear family is coming up..becoz of ppl gettting busy into 1s lives..values are changing..certain age differences coming up...but then too it wud be preferable to stay in joint families,as staying in joint families teaches u the values, how 2 luv,respect elders and stay in harmony...elders experiences in life provide u the guidance and suggestions and help 1 2 look thngs 4m a broader point of view...and so on..

in case of a gal gettin married..mostly youngsters these days opt to stay separately...i don know the exactly why this trend is pickin up..butin such cases where theres nt a good rapport between inlaws ..i thnk nuclear family wud be ideal...
 

kartikkool

New member
There has been a drastic change in the life styples of the Indian Livelihood. To a large extent, the western culture and been transformed towards the east.

There were days when people in india used to live like HUF, the culture, the religion were followed by the enitre familty in its righteous way.

But today, people are moving towards having nuclear family. They want to live alone, have so called "freedom " as defined by the people who live in nuclear family.

Y has this change taken place, what r the reasons to shift from joint to neclaer??

has the western power proved tht powerful on us. ( influence ).
was the joint family system a negative way of living ( forced, restricted ).

Well frnds.. its one topic whr i gues.. ppl hv way diff opinions.. but one must stick to what they express na defend n reason thier points.

hope to have a worthwhile discussion..

joint famly nyday......
 

DRISHYA

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
in a joint family there more scope for fights n politics as we see around.. even though they r staying together their minds r not.... so its better to stay separately n still have the bond than stay together n have inner politics...
It may also be vice a versa in some families...... its a subjective question.... its all in ur mind n heart that u create relationship n maintain love and not where n how u stay!!!
 

DRISHYA

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
there are many many pros n cons to it..... in joint family bros sis n parents may have fights n in Nuclear families we get to hear more cases of divorce....
There are problems in evrything..... it depends on the individual how to make their life beautiful with their intelligence n love.
 

theking

New member
Thanx for such an important topic, Vishal.
I think the changes are taking place in our Indian culture, bcz of the changes at the world level. every day sthing new happens, in earlier days people used to have time to sit with their family. but in todays time life has become so fast that it is very difficult to take out time for our families. to my mind this activity adds to the problem........
 
i'm from a nuclear family.i really think that though joint family has its own advantages its better to settle for nuclear families.

in nuclear families itself u can find disaccord between the members, so just imagine how it would be in a joint one! when its just four or so people that you are living with you can let down your guard and be yourself. but when you are part of a large family you always have to be on your guard.
i defenitely prefer nuclear family.
 
A joint family involves much more than people living under the same roof. Those of you who have experienced it will know its worth. With everyone putting in his or her part, the old joint family system could benefit everyone. Not only do your children get to live and grow with their grandparents and cousins, they also learn the value of relationship. They learn to give and take, to be patient, cooperative, tolerant and to adjust with the other family members.
 
The generation that broke out of the old joint family system did so when individualistic thinking began to gain predominance in the society. It was exciting to explore, experiment and establish a living set up on one's own. The nuclear family gave immense freedom from the traditions and ways of life that the old system was ridden with. Hence whenever and wherever the parents and the grown up adult children could not get along well and when the adult children could afford to build a house to call their own, nuclear families began to be formed. As it happens with most changes in the society, initially the people from the old system did not take this change very well. They were saddened to see the disintegration of family values and system and emergence of individualistic nuclear families. However, gradually when nuclear families became the order of the day, the old generation slowly began to accept the realities and became comfortable with it.
 

nidzi_MP

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Joint Family.... for sure coz
In joint family if any one person in the house is facing any kind of problem, all the members will come together to help him and will try to find the solution for the problem.
& working parents have very much advantage of joint family.
 
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