What Happy Women Know

All this comes from the fantastic book, What Happy Women Know, which I just finished reading this weekend. (There is also What Happy People Know for you guys out there, though I think everyone could benefit from the version I read). I would highly recommend reading the book since there are countless insights throughout its many pages,

1. Move beyond your comfort zone.

"We'll make plenty of mistakes if we venture beyond our comfort zone,
but that means we are calling on ourselves to grow and become more dynamic...
Life, and everything that happens in the context of life, is an experiment."


It's hard sometimes not to get stuck in a comfort rut. Most people like comfort and consistency in their lives, but I find that doing the same thing over and over again, as many of us, doesn't always bring about happiness. Often we're scared and we don't want to try new things or put an end to things we're used to, but if we live our lives in fear, certain that we'll make mistakes (and certain that these mistakes will be bad for us), we'll get stuck in a life that we're not in control of. We need to, as the quote above says, grow and become dynamic. We need to experiment and experience life. So, go on, get out there and make some mistakes. Break out of your comfort rut and you'll definitely find some new and exciting ways to stimulate your happiness.
 
2. Appreciate what you have (not what you don't).

"Appreciate and focus on what you have
and don't lament on what you don't have."


This seems easy enough to do, but think of all the times you've thought about what someone else has and wanted it. Think about all of the times you've been envious or jealous. Think of all the times you've been sure you life would be better if you had this or did that. We all do it (don't feel bad!) but it's not healthy and it certainly doesn't make us happier. What does make us happier is focusing on the things we have and the things that are awesome in our lives. C'mon, you know there are so many things you can appreciate. Keep a gratitude journal if you must, but find a way to appreciate the things you have and you'll be embracing one of the key secrets of happy people everywhere.




3. Learn to say, "No!"

"No is the most powerful word in the English language.
Saying no is a potential lifesaver. It's about respecting yourself--
your needs, your values, your time, and your energy."


Can saying no really make you happier? You bet! When you say no, you're taking control and you're asserting power over your own life. Of course, you can't always say no; sometimes you will have to do things you don't really want to do. But, more often than not, if you don't want to do something, say no. And, even more important, if something or someone is taking away from your self-respect or your values, you have every right to say no. It's your life and you should be living it to the the fullest, surrounding yourself with things and people that bring you happiness. If something isn't adding value to your life in a positive way, just say no!
 
4. Don't sacrifice yourself to please others.

"Happiness is not found in pleasing others at the expense of self...
Happiness comes with you what pleases you for the sake of pleasing yourself."


A lot of people (women, especially) put the needs of others before their own. They thing that making other people happy will make them happy and often that's not the case. It's wonderful to please other people, but only if it pleases you too. There's never a good reason to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. That's not saying that you shouldn't make compromises (after all, they're pretty necessary in any good relationship or friendship), but you shouldn't be making huge sacrifices (especially in terms of respect, beliefs, or values) in order to make other people happy. If you are giving up part of yourself to make others happy, stop. Life's too short to be living it for other people.
 
5. Have a good attitude about life.

"Attitude is hugely important in determining t
he subjective quality of life because it influences
how you interpret the events around you."


I really believe that attitude is everything. As someone who has had (and still sometimes has) a very bad attitude in life, I know first hand that attitude makes ALL the difference in the world. If you have a bad outlook, everything around you seems bad. If you have a good outlook, however, everything seems good. It's completely up to you to choose the outlook you have. You may not be able to control everything in your life (or even most things), but one thing you have complete control over is your attitude. Want to be happy? Have a happy attitude. It's just that simple!



6. Do what makes you feel good.

"You have to do the things that make you feel good,
by yourself and for yourself."


I say this often, but I say it because it's so, so important: do what you love. When you're doing what you love to do, you're going to be happier. We all have different talents and skills and it's important that we make the most of them, not only for ourselves, but for the world. There's a reason you're good at what you're good at. You have a purpose and when you're not fulfilling that purpose, you're not living your life to the fullest. You have the power to choose what you do in life and you can choose to do what you love. Sometimes the way to do this isn't always obvious. Sometimes you have to be creative. But I know if you work hard to find a way to do what you love, every day will be like a vacation. You'll be content, fulfilled, and, of course, happier.
 
7. Refuse to limit yourself.

"We are only limited by how much we limit ourselves."


One thing that definitely puts a HUGE damper on happiness is limiting yourself. I used to do this all the time, telling myself that I was just destined to be a negative person. In telling myself that I was born to be an unhappy person, I was limiting myself. I believe that's all I could be, so that's what I was. It wasn't until I opened my eyes and realized that it was me who was creating this limitation that things began to change for me. We have the power to control our thoughts and emotions and outlooks. We can put up thick walls and limit ourselves or we can open doors and breathe in the fresh air of new possibilities. Unfortunately it can be easier sometimes to set limits, but it's never a good way to bring happiness into your life. Life is filled with opportunities and you'll miss them if you limit yourself in any way.

Source
 
Happy women understand the three steps to self-forgiveness:
*Acknowledge the lesson you learned.
*Recognize that you're now in a different place.
*Know that you may make a new mistake tomorrow.

Here's another one: Men and women experience happiness differently. For men happiness is the pursuit of power and for women, happiness is the pursuit of relationships.
 
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