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how real we should be???

Discuss how real we should be??? within the General Talks forums, part of the Management Students Voices ( MBA,BMS,MMS,BMM,BBA) category; hi there!!! hope you all are in fine health!!! so frnds..here i am again talking about something thats a bit ...

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anu shukla
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Smile how real we should be??? - April 9th, 2007

hi there!!!
hope you all are in fine health!!!

so frnds..here i am again talking about something thats a bit emotional( so bear with me!!)
it needs to be start with a confession:
i have always tried to help others. i am very possesive about my friends or for anyone whom i care for!! there have been many instances where i have taken a stand against others when my friends were insulted...but atlast the result: both party patch up! & i am left with no one!!!
i always try to be clear from heart ,& always speak out things in front of people rather than backbiting!! but this has caused me a damage, people do feel i am not friendly!!!
i do feel that friends living in a hostel are more like a family as we all live together,so i go many a times out of my way to help them which cause me great problems & they instead of feeling good try to make fool out of me!!!

many a times such things happen with all of us.specially when we try to step in a professional world from our secured family upbringing!! so whats the solution?? should we also become " professional"(dn't take it otherwise!!) and dual personality like others..should we try to mingle with wolves in sheep skin!!!

i really need to know!!
and please for god sake stop saying " tell others their mistake in soft tone" becauz it doesn't help much!!!! people do feel offended whn u tell them things no matter how polite you are!!specially whn they are your co- mates/ same age group!!

may seem like a small kid cribbing...but dear this is a serious issue which affects al of us smtime in our life!!!so lets try finding solution to it!!!

take care
anu
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Avishkar Agarwal
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 9th, 2007

i dont kno y......................but it seems as if uve snatched those from my mouth........................uve got company.......................

i suare ive got the same problem................ditto..............

be it in college
be it at work
be it in the call centre where i worked
not at home.

im tryin to avoid (not ignore) such ppl.........n frenz hu don understand u or (i hope u get me),,,,,....shud be kept away.......

i sttrongly support ur feelings)


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TO BRING THE CHANGE"
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anu shukla
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 10th, 2007

hi ruvi...
its really great to hear that it does happen with all of us but dear we need to find a solution to it!!! atleast i am not going to compromise when i haven't done anything wrong!!


"anything acheived more than gratification is happiness...
less than expectation is sorrow."
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 10th, 2007

Quote:
Originally Posted by anu shukla View Post
hi there!!!
hope you all are in fine health!!!

so frnds..here i am again talking about something thats a bit emotional( so bear with me!!)
it needs to be start with a confession:
i have always tried to help others. i am very possesive about my friends or for anyone whom i care for!! there have been many instances where i have taken a stand against others when my friends were insulted...but atlast the result: both party patch up! & i am left with no one!!!
i always try to be clear from heart ,& always speak out things in front of people rather than backbiting!! but this has caused me a damage, people do feel i am not friendly!!!
i do feel that friends living in a hostel are more like a family as we all live together,so i go many a times out of my way to help them which cause me great problems & they instead of feeling good try to make fool out of me!!!

many a times such things happen with all of us.specially when we try to step in a professional world from our secured family upbringing!! so whats the solution?? should we also become " professional"(dn't take it otherwise!!) and dual personality like others..should we try to mingle with wolves in sheep skin!!!

i really need to know!!
and please for god sake stop saying " tell others their mistake in soft tone" becauz it doesn't help much!!!! people do feel offended whn u tell them things no matter how polite you are!!specially whn they are your co- mates/ same age group!!

may seem like a small kid cribbing...but dear this is a serious issue which affects al of us smtime in our life!!!so lets try finding solution to it!!!

take care
anu

Hi anu,

what u face is a problem with soooooooo many people, including me. Sometimes i feel that when i go out helping someone, at the end, the real loser is me !!!!!

Just remember one line of mine, before i tell u anything else...... People like u and me, stand a class apart, because we're possessive people. We value our friendship, with some people tooooooo much. Maybe its because of our past, maybe because of our upbringing or our attitude in general, but we treat them like siblings, if i must say.

And, it is imperative to know that, "True friends, who really care for ur feelings, are extremely rare.... EXTREMELY EXTRMELY RARE"

Honestly, i had so many friends during my Btech, but none of them can be considered to the special friends, i have. Its not because its anyone's fault, but human nature is such that it can't bond with everyone.

So u like to go out of ur way, helping them.... good isn't it..... u should..... that's ur duty as a friend.... but dun expect any returns. u did ur duty, whatever u could to help ur friend(s) and later on, if u didn't get the feedback u desired, u should not take it to heart.

I know u still have some very very close friends, with whom u can share One thing which is important is, don't share ur personal feelings with someone u don't trust.

U will find many back-biters amongst u, but the fact is back-biting is bad, it doesn't help. Everyone respects the people who speak truth on the face, even though it might not be digestible to them at first. The bitter fact of life is that in this competitive world, most of ur friends would be professional..... and very few would be real friends... So i always think, i dun care even if i have just 1 real friend..... atleast utna toh hai.... Be happy with what u have, rather than what u don't have... that is how u live life.

One last thing, people like us, who like to help others with advices, etc believe in helping everyone..... but then, advice should be given to the one who wants to listen. If someone doesn't wants to, then he/she will not respect ur advice. So refrain from giving them advice.

Please let me know, if u have anything else in mind.


Regards,
Gaurav Mittal



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anu shukla
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 13th, 2007

hi gaurav
its seems to be really good reply but the problem is people like you & me are so natural that we dn't think much( except sm) before making friends..slowly living with them& understanding them makes us closer to them ..there is no STOP ,i mean a demarcation as we should keep them till that pt only...its all about emotions, nothing else.
also if we try to change ourself, people who like us gets hurt by it..so its really tough to find out your true friends.
i am happy living with true enemies also, i do respect them as their intentions are very clear,they help you in reaching to your extremes but god can only save me from my so called friends who are worse than enemies!!!!

i do admit that my "bindas " nature has created many problems for me but at the same time i am true to myself & i dare to speak the truth in front of everyone!!i guess this is my USP which makes me still help others...
wat about yours?
take care
anu


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less than expectation is sorrow."
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Kartik Raichura
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 13th, 2007

You know Anu, everyone feels the same. Its just that a few discuss it, a feel try to portray a image, by not discussing.

All these years, I have understood one thing, that loneliness is your strength. Friendships, family, peers tie you with responsibilities and burden. I help many, I dont even remember them the next time they talk to me.

I help them because it makes me feel good about myself. I dont share my world with everyone. Only a few know only a few things. No one knows the whole story.

I trust NO one because knowledge is power and the more others know about you, the more you loose your power and the more they gain chances of backstabbing you.

Be comfortably numb with loneliness, its a good thing, for me its my strength.

Now, loneliness does not mean that I do not socialize. I do socialise, I help others , I am an extreme extrovert when I am with a group, but thats in terms of humour and mixing with the group. My life is my life and I am the sole person that should know about it.

Hope this lecturing helped.


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Re: how real we should be??? - April 13th, 2007

i have to say one thing ANU....whatever you say, you have found a lot of support for yourself at MP....and moreover i agree with Kartik ......that he has helped many people....like me..and more to come....

but hey why cant we just combine these 2 things and make a living......i mean right now i am at my workplace....and somewhere in my heart i think....this world is bad and mean etc.....but it is not that bad.....beauty lies in the eyes of beholder and take everything positively............because the more you suffer...the stronger you become.....


Problems in life are intended to make us better and not bitter......hence think this as a chance to make new friends at MP.....because things dont turn out to be that bad....did you ever imagine...you will get a response on this thread....just due to anger you keyed in some strokes and found a genre of friends......these your mirror images.......


well lastly, i need to thank you....for giving me an opportunity to get back to MP........

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Re: how real we should be??? - April 13th, 2007

hi anu..read ur mail...and liked it cos this things happens generally in such cut throat competitive world..solution is be diplomatic,,,dnt be very personal to any1..
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 13th, 2007

hi anu..read ur mail...and liked it cos this things happens generally in such cut throat competitive world..solution is be diplomatic,,,dnt be very personal to any1..
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Re: how real we should be??? - April 14th, 2007

hi...adi here....just visiting this thread n stopped coz it happened to me...n in a way too embarassing to evn talk abt or waste anybodys time....so lets get down to problem at its root.

As always some gud views like gaurav n kartik...i think everyone of us is unique in a sense tht we hv our own persona...way of perceiving things...it comes frm u within our upbringing...our perception of wrong n right.

the problem with most of us is (being a gud human being) is our emotions n feelings...getting hurt...n also some people get away with it (donno how)..

consider this world as a jungle with all types of animals (human beings with animal personalities) residing in it...As far as i hav perceived abt life, jungle rule applies to this world too...most of the times...
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