Impact of your Childhood on Your Personality

[rahul_parab2006]

Introduction
We all know that there are various factors that affect our personality. These factors can be family atmosphere, culture and beliefs of the family, social factors and at times just one incident of your life can also influence your personality. It can change the way you look at life and people around you. For the purpose of this article, we will be concentrating on childhood experiences. Here we will be covering the life-span of 1-19 years of age. The mind of a child is like a white-board, where we can write anything. You can draw any type of picture; can use any type of color and those experiences determine the personality of a person.

Let's define "Disturbed Childhood / Adulthood"

1) Fights / quarrels between parents
2) Tensed atmosphere at home (Fights with relatives. Drinking and smoking habits of Parents; Parents insulting each other, in front of outsiders, children and others. Etc.)
3) Parents not spending enough time with children
4) Divorce
5) Gender Discrimination (As happens in India and other Asian Countries)
6) Financial Status of the family (Not having enough to eat. Not enough clothes. Not Many Options. To get one thing, one needs to sacrifice another. Etc.)
7) Sexual Abuse by relative, family member or a known person

These are some of the factors, which affect the childhood / adolescent and determine the personality and "type of future" of a child.


Defining the Social Environment

In last couple of weeks I read few articles / stories, giving the biographical insight of the concerned individuals. Let's be very honest and practical and accept the fact that though we are in 21st Century but in this part of the world we still have gender bias. There are specified and pre-determined roles for males and females. There are certain manners in which these two lovable creatures of the God are treated. There are defined boundaries for each of them. Any thing out side that boundary; any behavior and role outside that limit are still treated as an offence. You might argue that and say that this is not the actual scene. So, I like to remind you that the actual India is not living in seven metros or 27 capital cities. People living in those areas are just 15% of the total population. Actual India is still living in rural areas. Those are the people who are not even aware of different events that are happening in other parts of the country. They are not aware of different laws that are specifically made for them.

This is to give you an overview of social environment in this part of the world. (And I am sure that the situation in other countries is also not very appreciable or encouraging).

Let's be practical

In this type of social environment, if there is a family as mentioned above, you can very well, imagine the type of impact that it can have on an individual. What will be the different hurdles this individual might face, if he or she wants to come in life.

When you have disturbed family, where there is constant fight (verbal and physical) between parents, constant nagging, gender bias, poor financial status and to add to all this, if there is sexual abuse; in such scenario, you have only two options:

1) Be a victim. Surrender yourself to the circumstances. Tolerate as long as you can. Either you will become like them or you will end your life.
2) Rebel. Revolt. Situation of your life cannot be worse than what you are already facing. So, go out of your "so-called" pre-defined boundary; break all norms and rules of the society and face the world head-on.

If you choose the second option, yes, there will be objections, there will be resistance, there will be more hurdles but at the same time you will be more satisfying. Just to share two examples here:

1) Late Dhirubhai Ambani: Some people consider him as a great businessman and other consider him as one of the most corrupt businessman. Going by what I have read and seen that this individual had a dream but his father never allowed him to flourish that dream. He came from the middle-class family. He wanted to grow big. He wanted to make his name. He wanted to create wealth. First by father and then by big industrialists, he was not allowed to grow. Then, he created different route for himself. He talked in the language, that others were able to understand. Today, his family is a "wealth creator" in this part of the world. And, mind you…all this has been done in just over 45 years.

Some of his best quotes are:

• I am deaf to the word "no"."
• "Think big, think fast, think ahead. Ideas are no one's monopoly"
• "Pursue your goals even in the face of difficulties, and convert adversities into opportunities."
• "Meeting the deadlines is not good enough, beating the deadlines is my expectation."
• "We cannot change our Rulers, but we can change the way they Rule Us."

2) Late Phoolan Devi (Bandit Queen): Phoolan Devi was born into a family of the shudra sub-caste of a boatman called mallah in the small village of Uttar Prdaesh, India. At the age of 11 years, she was married to a widower 20 years elder to her. Her husband used to rape her and mistreat her. Later, he abandoned her and sent her back to her village. Her family also disowned her. Later in her life, on one occasion she was kidnapped and then raped by many males of higher caste. Had it been anybody else what she could have done? She created one gang, attacked the same village where she was raped and then killed all those males who raped her.

Our life is full of such experiences. Many people choose to be a victim and call it as their destiny. Very few people have courage and guts to revolt / rebel. Those who rebel, not many are able to face and overcome the resistance.

The words are very clear on the wall, "Do or perish"


More Practical Scenarios

• A female has been sexually abused / raped by her own people. There cannot be anything worse and humiliating then this.
• As happened a few months back in Pakistan, where one lady was asked to walk nude, in front of all villagers. There cannot be anything more insulting then this.
• There is another woman who is physically and sexually abused by her husband. There cannot be anything more torturing than this.
• What will be the outcome of such experiences?

In these scenarios, many females go under depression. Some even commit suicide. Some take this as a part of their destiny. Very few have the courage to continue and fight the society for her respect and dignity.

There is a male, whose father is a gambler, he drink everyday; when at home, he beat his wife and children. He takes fight with everyone in the neighborhood. The financial position of the family is not good enough. They don't have enough to eat. There is no money to send kids to school. No one wants to mingle with this male. Now, what are the options left with this guy? Either he will continue to live like this for the rest of his life or he will try imitate the ways of his father or he will revolt, move on his own in a different and yet unknown paths in search of happy, successful and peaceful life. That path certainly will not be very easy to walk-on. There will be resistance, hurdles and other objections. If this individual gives-up and is not able to take that much of pressure, then he will move on in another way and that way will be that of criminals and crimes.

Conclusion

There is an old saying that people are not good or bad since from their birth. People become good or bad, based on their experiences and circumstances revolving around their life. Criminals are not born but society creates criminals. Onus is on family. Onus is on parents and teachers to better people for the society.

Every individual has a role to play. Parents should take the responsibility not only "to give life" but also to nourish and groom that life. Don't have kids just for the sake of having few, if you cannot nourish those kids or if you cannot give future to those kids. Its high-time and now people should start planning their life. They should start taking charge of their life. [/color]

Source: Ezine Article Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints