MATHEMATICS ARITHMETIC STATISTICS

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy



OFFICE ARITHMETIC



Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



SHOPPING MATH



A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.



LONGEVITY



Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE



A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE



A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
 
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