CoRpoRAte lESSonS!!

Tuski

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”

The eagle answered, “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 

Tuski

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Boy 2 doctor:-
Meri girlfriend pregnant hai. .
Par maine to protection li thi...
Doctor:-
Ek kahani suno
Ek shikari ek Gun ki jagah ek umbrella le
Gaya...
Achanak Lion samne aaya toh usne umbrella
ka
handle khicha aur fire kiya...
Lion wahi mar Gaya...
Boy:-
Impossible kisi aur ne goli mari hogi...
Doctor :-
Ecaxtly ...!
 

arti.iiitm

New member
One lesson from my side guys.. :)

Position or Performance?

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.

'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'

Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.
 

arti.iiitm

New member
One more ...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 

prtk.nayak

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
The glass

The Optimist says:
"The glass is half full."
The Pessimist says:
"The glass is half empty."
The Marketing Consultant says:
"Your glass needs re-sizing." :D
 

poornima lagadapati

Active member
great
Father: I want u to marry a girl of my choice

Son: No......

Father: But girl is Bill Gates Daughter.

Son : Then ok

Father approaches to Bill Gates.................

Father: I have a husband for your daughter.

Bill Gates: My daughter is too young to marry.

Father: But my son is Vice President of World Bank.

Then ok

Father goes to President of World Bank

Father: Appoint my son as VP in your bank

President: No

Father: But he is son-in-law of Bill Gates

President: Then ok

THIS IS BUSINESS:)
great bussiness... but try to apply it in your life .lol
 

poornima lagadapati

Active member
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic with girls." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic with girls." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic with girls." That's Brand Recognition. :bigsmile:
wow... very standard differentiation.
 

poornima lagadapati

Active member
can i sit on 4th floor doing nothing?
One more ...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
[/QUOTE
 

gumisatria

New member
Government Seal



Official Announcement from USA



The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!



It just doesn't get more accurate than that.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Position or Performance?



A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.



Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.



God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?



The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!



God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..



Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.



God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...



'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'



'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.



'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'



Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

hahahhahahha, make people pray hahhaha
 
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